The Many Hats of Early Cuyler

Image Hat Seen in
Booty Hunter
  • This Show is Called Squidbillies
  • Government Brain Voodoo Trouble
  • Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust
  • Webnecks
  • Armageddon It On!
  • The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube
  • Frivolacious Squidigation
  • America: Why I Love Her
  • The Big E
  • The Pharaoh's Wad
  • The Legend of Kid Squid
  • The Inkubator Lives!
  • Drone to the Bone
  • Hetero-cephalo Agenda
  • Granny Hotfoot
  • Sheriff-in-law
  • The Peep
  • Squash B'Gosh
  • The Guzzle Bumpkin
  • Jacksonville Jackass
  • The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
  • Debased Ball
  • Tortuga de Mentiras
  • Duel of the Dimwits
  • Dewey Two-ey
  • Galvin
  • Muscadine Wine
  • The Reenactment of the Repulsion of the Siege of Cuyler Mountain
  • Rich Dan, Poor Dan
  • Blue Lives Battered
  • There's Sucker Porn Every Minute
  • Events by Russell
  • One Man Banned
  • Let 'er R.I.P.
  • No Space Like Home
  • Scorn on the 4th of July
  • Zen and the Art of Truck-Boat-Truck Maintenance
  • Who-Gives-a-Flip?
  • Ol' Hootie
  • The Liceman Cometh
  • This Show Was is Called Squidbillies
Here's the Beef
  • This Show is Called Squidbillies
  • Burned and Reburned Again
Breathe If You're Horny
  • This Show is Called Squidbillies
  • Burned and Reburned Again (flashback)
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
World's Greatest Illegitimate Daddy
  • Take This Job and Love It
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
May I Help You, My Child?
  • Take This Job and Love It
  • The Liceman Cometh
Groom
  • Take This Job and Love It
  • The Liceman Cometh
A hat-shaped résumé
  • Take This Job and Love It
  • The Liceman Cometh
Goal Bandit
  • School Days, Fool Days
  • The Liceman Cometh
I ♥ Cock
Fighting
  • School Days, Fool Days
  • The Liceman Cometh

A logo resembling the Pontiac Firebird hood decal but with a squid
  • School Days, Fool Days
  • Chalky Trouble
  • Family Trouble
  • Burned and Reburned Again
  • Terminus Trouble
  • Condition: Demolition!
  • The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Free Hat
Limit 1
Early actually owns many of these hats.
  • School Days, Fool Days
  • Chalky Trouble
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • Green and Sober
  • The Liceman Cometh
2005 Prom King
  • School Days, Fool Days
  • The Liceman Cometh
A bald eagle in front of the American flag
  • Chalky Trouble
  • Family Trouble
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • America: Why I Love Her
  • The Liceman Cometh
A straight hand of poker cards
  • Family Trouble
  • Burned and Reburned Again
  • The Liceman Cometh
David Allan Ceo
Live in Macon
  • Office Politics Trouble
  • Condition: Demolition!
  • The Liceman Cometh
Glug
  • Office Politics Trouble
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
Support Our Troops
  • Butt Trouble
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
I Love You Daddy
  • Butt Trouble
  • Not Without My Cash Cow!
  • The Legend of Kid Squid
  • The Liceman Cometh

Sonny LIED!!!
This hat is a reference to then incumbent governor Sonny Perdue's referendum of the Georgia flag that excluded the 1956 flag as a ballot option despite making a campaign promise to put it on there.

  • Double Truckin' the Tricky Two
I ant won jak a lot from the squattery thle lottery should be the jack squattery cause I aynt jack squatting alot ythey should rename the lottery to the jack squattery cause thats all I ever win in it!!!!!
  • Double Truckin' the Tricky Two
  • The Liceman Cometh
Tricky Two
  • Double Truckin' the Tricky Two
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh
John Beer
  • Swayze Crazy
  • The Liceman Cometh
Swayze Crazy
  • Swayze Crazy
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
A plush donkey with an obscenely massive foam penis
  • Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble
  • The Liceman Cometh
God's Good Buddy
  • Giant Foam Dickhat Trouble

Remember 9-111
This hat is stamped with IRREGULAR signifying it's a factory defect.

  • Meth O.D. to My Madness
  • Burned and Reburned Again
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
DO it...
...TO it!
  • Bubba Trubba
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Damn I'm Good!!
  • Burned and Reburned Again
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
Hooked on Jesus
  • Survival of the Dumbest
I'm Going Nuckin' Futz!!
  • Survival of the Dumbest
Hooked on Darwin
  • Survival of the Dumbest
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
A "Truth" fish eating the "Darwin" fish
  • Survival of the Dumbest
A "Science" bear eating the "Truth" fish
  • Survival of the Dumbest
The "Science" bear being shot by a "Faith" hunter
  • Survival of the Dumbest
The "Faith" hunter being abducted by a "China" UFO
  • Survival of the Dumbest
  • The Liceman Cometh
Two wolves howling at a full moon with the American flag in the background
  • A Sober Sunday
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Legend of Kid Squid
I support the flat tax 'cause I'm FLAT BROKE!
  • Webnecks
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
Taste Daytona!
  • Beast Implants
  • The Liceman Cometh
Bodywork by Wanda
  • Tween Stream
  • The Liceman Cometh
Shoot First
Ask Questions Never!
  • Wing Nut
  • Green and Sober
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Too Cool for You!!
  • Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto is 'Wisdom, Justice and Moderation'
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
DAMN BALD EAGLES
Ft McPherson, GA
  • Earth Worst
Lifeguard on Booty
  • The Good One
  • The Liceman Cometh
A Georgia Bulldogs head
  • The Good One
  • Fatal Distraction
  • Jacksonville Jackass
Gator Hator
  • The Good One
  • Jacksonville Jackass
Ice Wind
Ignite and Excite
  • Sharif
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Jesus Shaves
  • Condition: Demolition!
  • The Liceman Cometh
My Other Hat is Yo' Momma!
  • The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma
  • The Liceman Cometh
Didn't Ask. Don't Tell!!
  • The Unbearable Heatness of Fire
  • The Liceman Cometh
Been there, Done that, Got this HAT!
  • Tuscaloosa Dumpling
  • The Liceman Cometh
got breast milk?
  • Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen
  • The Liceman Cometh
No Habla Jibber Jabber!
  • Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Nifty! Nifty! Look who's 53!
  • An Officer and a Dental Dam
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • The Liceman Cometh
A hat that resembles Granny wearing a smaller Confederate hat
  • An Officer and a Dental Dam
  • The Liceman Cometh
Line Dancers Do It!! In A Line!
  • The Okaleechee Dam Jam
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Guns Don't Kill People. I DO!!
  • The Okaleechee Dam Jam
  • The Liceman Cometh
Born to Die!!!
  • Pile M for Murder
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
When God takes a DUMP on your head, you just gotta craft it into a HAT!!!
  • Pile M for Murder
This ain't no HAT... it's a rag top for a SEX CONVERTIBLE!!!
  • Mud Days and Cornfused
  • Atone Deaf (flashback)
This Hat Contains Minimum 85% Post-Consumer Recycled Hats
  • Mud Days and Cornfused
  • The Liceman Cometh
Laugh So I Can See 'Em Bounce!!
  • Krystal, Light
These Colors Don't Run
  • Lerm
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
Lerm!
  • Lerm
Always Remember
June 19
  • Lerm
  • The Liceman Cometh

Gay Pride
Early's illiteracy stops him from reading what the hat actually says.

  • The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube
Body for Pleasure
Mind for Sin
  • The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube
  • The Legend of Kid Squid
  • The Liceman Cometh
Love It or Leave It!
  • The Fine Ol' Solution
  • The Liceman Cometh
Fine Ol' Solution
  • The Fine Ol' Solution
  • The Liceman Cometh
VPILF
  • Anabolic-holic
  • The Liceman Cometh
too FUNK to DRUCK!!
  • Confessions of a Gangrenous Mind
  • Frivolacious Squidigation
Hold My Hat While I Have Sex With Your Wife!!!
  • The Big Gay Throwdown
  • Green and Sober
  • The Liceman Cometh
You'll get this hat when you pry it from my COLD, DEAD HEAD!
SN#94426847
  • Atone Deaf
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
Dougal County Corrections
BK4013970061794
  • Atone Deaf
  • The Need for Weed
  • Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D
  • Squidbilly Manfishing
  • A Jailhouse Divided
  • Hybrid to Hell
  • The Liceman Cometh
Healing Rocks!!!
  • Atone Deaf
  • The Liceman Cometh
Do Something With Your Life! Take Your Top Off!!!
  • God's Bro
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh

Do Something With Your Life! Get An Education!!!
This hat was worn by an Early from an alternate dimension.

  • God's Bro
Ca$h is King!!!
  • Reunited, And It Feels No Good
  • Not Without My Cash Cow!
  • The Liceman Cometh
findbabyrusty.luv
WE ACCEPT: MaxCharge/Buy Max/Recover/Charge Card
"I love you, son."
  • Not Without My Cash Cow!

Baby Rusty
"I didn't kill him and bury the body somewheres."
After Rusty is returned, the hat has HE'S ALIVE!!! stamped on it and the picture of Rusty is smiling.

  • Not Without My Cash Cow!
  • The Liceman Cometh
PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR LEGS AND KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE
  • The Need for Weed
  • The Liceman Cometh
Ignorance is BLISS
WHY AIN'T YOU SMILIN'?
  • The Need for Weed
  • The Liceman Cometh
I'm a Longhaired Spreadneck
  • The Need for Weed
  • The Liceman Cometh
Emergency? dial .357!!!
  • The Many Loves of Early Cuyler
  • The Liceman Cometh
Tell your BOOBS to stop staring at my EYES!!!
  • Dead Squid Walking
Don't blame me, I didn't VOTE!!!
  • Young, Dumb and Full of Gums
Vote Yes
Re-Legalize Midget Tossing
  • Holodeck Redneck
  • The Liceman Cometh
Early! PC Beach '92
  • Holodeck Redneck
  • The Liceman Cometh
Early! PC Beach '95
  • Holodeck Redneck
Early! PC Beach '01
  • Holodeck Redneck
I Survived Yuri's Androp-Off!
  • Frivolacious Squidigation
I Need Help Making Copies! ASK ME HOW?
  • Frivolacious Squidigation
Tits for Tots
  • Frivolacious Squidigation
A Glug-Brand Boozy Susan "Get the Party Started" Kit with Hat Attachment
  • Frivolacious Squidigation
Honey, I'd Suck the Fart Out of Your Car Seat!!!
  • Fatal Distraction
  • The Liceman Cometh
T'AINT one, T'AINT the other!!!
  • Clowny Freaks
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh
WARNING: If you can read this, you'd better be sittin' on my FACE!
  • Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine
  • The Liceman Cometh
I've Got a Blue Chip If You've Got a Green Back!!!
  • Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine
Sheetrock University
  • Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine
Sheetrock University/U of PS just below the State of Georgia
  • Lean Green Touchdown Makifying Machine

I'M DID ASBESTOS I CAN!!
This hat is made entirely out of asbestos and poorly translated from Chinese.

  • Asbestos I Can
  • The Liceman Cometh
WARNING! DO NOT WEAR THIS HAT!
  • Asbestos I Can
  • The Liceman Cometh
BULLYING crossed out with a "no" symbol
  • Class of '86
Slut Rustler
  • Velvet Messiah
  • The Liceman Cometh
Rock Out With Your Jock Out!!
Daytona '86
  • The Big E
The Big E
  • The Big E
  • The Liceman Cometh
3-Peat Offender!!!
  • Keeping It in the Family Way
  • Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D (flashback)
"If Dar-WINS, we lose."
Plattitudes 5:12
  • Snow Daddy
There's No Use for a LAWman Without LAWLESSNESS!!
  • Snow Daddy
I Put the FUNK in Functional Alcoholic!!
  • Ballmart
I Put the HICK in "Operating a Vehicle While Intox-HICK-ated!!"
  • Ballmart
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Nice Legs! What Time They OPEN?
  • Return of Gaga Pee Pap
  • The Liceman Cometh

Booby Hunter
Early wore this hat as a child.

  • Return of Gaga Pee Pap
Men Want to BE ME!! Women Want to BE WITH ME!!
  • Trucked Up!
  • The Liceman Cometh
Who's Your Grand Daddy!?
  • Rusty and Tammi Sitting in a Tree, B-A-S-T-A-R-D
  • The Liceman Cometh
I LIKE TO GRAB BUTTS!!
  • Beware the Butt-Cutter
  • The Liceman Cometh
I'd Rather be... Financially Secure!!!
  • Squidbilly Manfishing
Whiskey While You Work!!
  • Green and Sober
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
  • The Liceman Cometh
Privates Investigator
  • From Russia with Stud
  • The Liceman Cometh
See Granite Caverns
Your Wish is Granite!
  • Granite Caverns
  • The Liceman Cometh
Gone, but not forgotten!
  • Ga-Ga-Ghost
  • The Liceman Cometh
Vote Sheriff: Fairly Tough!
  • A Jailhouse Divided
  • The Liceman Cometh
Elect Denny - "Imma Make a Change"
  • A Jailhouse Divided
Less Pod-Castin', More Rod-Castin'!!!
  • Stop, Jammer Time!
I'm Going Digital!!
  • Thou Shale Not Drill
  • The Liceman Cometh
FRACK IT!!!
  • Thou Shale Not Drill
"Let's" get Dougal County BACK IN FRACK!!!
  • Thou Shale Not Drill
God is My Co-Pilot. The Devil is My Wingman... WHOSE FLYING THE PLANE?!!!
  • The Squid Stays in the Picture
Guns Don't Kill People. They Just Make It Easy!!!
  • Gun of a Son
SUPPORT STRAIGHT MARRIAGE!!!
  • Hetero-cephalo Agenda
Real Men Love Jesus. WOMEN!!!
  • Hetero-cephalo Agenda
HEY, GAYS! I WON'T BE A H8R IF YOU CAN GET STR8R!!!
  • Hetero-cephalo Agenda
HETERO CEPHALO!!!
  • Hetero-cephalo Agenda

You can't fix STUPID if it don't BROKE!!!
The Early Cuyler statue in Ellijay, GA is wearing this hat.

  • Limbitless
  • The Liceman Cometh
My Other Hat is a Rols-Roice
  • Limbitless
It's 5 O'clock Somewhere.../...but it's 4:20 here!!!
  • Taint Misbehaving
  • The Liceman Cometh
I've got Beer Googles! When I drink, I know it all!!!
  • Ink Is Thicker Than Blood, Which Is Thicker Than Water
GO HOME!!! AMERICA'S FULL!!!
  • Bunker Down, You Hairy Dawg!
  • The Liceman Cometh
I'll turn the other cheek... SO YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!!
  • A Walk to Dignity
Granny Hotfoot!!! SUX!!!!!
  • Granny Hotfoot
IF YOU DON'T ROLL COAL, THEN YOU CAN KISS MY GAS!!!
  • Hybrid to Hell
Freedom Ain't Free... And We Don't Accept PESOS!!!
  • Jose, Can You? Si!
How'd My Worm Get In Your Taco? - Spring Break Cancun 2007
  • Jose, Can You? Si!
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
Who Needs HAIR With a HAT Like THIS?!!!
  • Lipstick on a Squid
Heritage Not Hate
  • Southern Pride and Prejudice
Divorce is Strong with This One
  • Trackwood Race-ist
Slut Nut
  • Trackwood Race-ist
Did you say something? 'CUZ I HEARD A TURD!!!
  • Trackwood Race-ist
I DON'T NETFLIX & CHILL... I VHS & F**CK!!!
  • Vicki
I WAS With Stupid, But Now She's YOUR Problem!!!
  • Cephalo-ectomy
Keep Drunk and Carry Arms
  • Greener Pastor
Ass Man
  • Squash B'Gosh (repurposed into a costume)
I'm a Multitasker! I Can Drink a Beer, Watch TV, and Bang Your Wife! All At the Same Time!!!
  • Thanks-Taking
HEY, SNOWFLAKE! HERE'S YOUR TRIGGER WARNING!!!
  • Dove in an Iron Cage
FREE Rusty
  • Dove in an Iron Cage
Grab Deez Nutz and Guzzle Up!
  • The Guzzle Bumpkin
  • The Liceman Cometh
I WONT GET FOILED AGAIN!!! GLOBAL TURKQOISSE CONSPIRACY!!!
  • The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet
  • The Liceman Cometh
I Believe. Anything.
  • The Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet
  • The Liceman Cometh
Latrine Marine
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
  • The Liceman Cometh
I Don't Lay Eggs, I Lay WOMERNS!!!
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
I'm not a WOMAN, I'm ALL MAN!!!
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
I enjoy sex with WOMEN because I'm DEFINITELY a MAN!!
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
I'm still Hot! It just comes in Flashes!
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
They're not Hot Flashes, They're Power Surges!
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
  • The Liceman Cometh
Don't Talk DOWN to Me! I Ain't No WOMAN You Can BOSS AROUND!!!
  • Ballad of the Latrine Marine
LET'S F**K!
  • Debased Ball
Let's just snuggle tonight.
  • Debased Ball
Dougal ♥ Venezuela 2017
  • Tortuga de Mentiras
  • The Liceman Cometh
HO! HO! HO!ld Your "Happy Holidays" - it's: Merry Christmas Damn It! - God Bless us (almost) Everyone
  • The War on the War on Christmas
Cuyler Farms B and B - You AUTUMN stay a while!
  • Forever Autumn
Sasquatch
  • Cooler-Heads Prevail
Blue Lives Matter
  • Blue Lives Battered
Events by Russell
  • Events by Russell
  • The Liceman Cometh
Hooty Hunter
  • Ol' Hootie
  • The Liceman Cometh
Swag
  • The Liceman Cometh
I'm Off My Walker!!!
  • The Liceman Cometh

LICE DO IT HEAD FIRST
This hat is worn by Early's lice.

  • The Liceman Cometh
I'M A P.A.W.G DAWG
  • The Liceman Cometh
A fried chicken bucket with #1 PAW PAW written on it
  • The Liceman Cometh